Sunday, January 02, 2011

A Believer No More!

I don’t know when the process began.
I didn’t catch the beginning.
Maybe it wasn’t painful then!
Maybe it had a silent start!

It happened imperceptibly;
It was a quiet conquest!

I was a believer;
I believed in fire!
The potent fire of mind,
The fearless fire of truth,
The mysterious fire of existence,
I was a believer!

I don’t know when I stopped believing,
I don’t know!

I gave up fighting on the side of hope,
I gave in to the numbness of destiny!

I don’t know when the process began,
The process of me not caring,
The process of me shutting up,
The process of me shrugging more and more,
The process of me hiding me,
The process of me becoming him!

I was a believer no more!

* Kasimir Malevich, Black Square & Red Square, 1913


Lotus said...

I do not want to sound critical, but I see this as a good sign ... I think living is much more (important) than believing and fighting ... so be happy, you may be going in the right direction :)

Tameshk said...

Dear Lotus,
Thanks for your kind comment.
The feeling this piece is based on is a realization of a confusion one feels when seeing they have becoming another thing... It may be a good thing you are right, it is just a moment of seeing.