Letters to Rilke – Number 5

Dear R,

Darling of all times,
I am sorry that my energy has evaporated to your eternity,
I am no hero!

Dearest of all dears,
I am sorry that my body cannot carry the weight of this pain any longer,
I have no courage!

The most precious of all treasures,
I am sorry that I did not wish to spend you,
I am shattered!

Dear R,
I cannot tell you

“…who are they,
these vagabonds
even more transient
than we are?”*

But I can say that I have turned to one.
I am a Vagabond!

Les Saltimbanques, Picasso, 1905

*Fifth Elegy, Duino Elegies, Rilke: In the summer of 1915 Rilke stayed in Frau Hertha von Koenig's Munich apartment, where Picasso's painting of a performing troupe, Les Saltimbanques, hung.

Just that!

And it came to this; dinner for one. Just that!

Zeitoon Khan in Chickpea Chateau, May 2010

Your Hands!

Another May Day far from your hands;

Your hands,
Warm, holding my worried hands, when I looked for the missing duckling, knowing the young fox who always sneaked into the garden using the old dry stony brook, would not be hungry tonight.

Your hands,
Tender, when I escaped their kind touch on my bruised forehead, in that dark snowy day!

Your hands,
Sharp, when you hold your HB pencil, editing page after page, putting little arrows here and there, making it short, clear and smooth, the way you want all writings to be,

Your hands,
Strong in holding us all close, as if me being two oceans away is no bother,

Another May Day far from your hands,
And my days are so cold when missing your magical touch!

Hand Catching a Bird, Joan Miro,

*Happy May Day to you all, & Happy Anniversary to my parents!